Day 24 of 365; Unafraid [ Be fearless, free & be you]
“Let us not pray to be sheltered from dangers but to be fearless when facing them.” ~Rabindranath Tagore
“My Spirit takes flight-
I am fearless and free
to be me.”
Today I had to take my son into Urgent Care at the hospital, after facing a rough weekend of high fevers (highest at 103.5) ,terrible cough & some hard times breathing. As a mother I was worried, afraid in my heart for my little boy-if you know me well, then you know he is my life, my adventure buddy, he is keeping me young…so initially, the idea that something could be really wrong with him made my heart sink. I was afraid- I was fearful. But I prayed, I prayed before I told him I was taking him to the hospital, that God would make me fearless -if just for my son.
On the way in, I looked in the back seat of the Jeep at my son, and he looked lifeless – depressed- the way no child at nearly 7 years old should look, it brought tears to my eyes,.. so I checked the clock and saw we were running EARLY (yes..early! ) ..so I pulled into McDonalds and bought him the breakfast he wanted -and his face lit up, in between the coughing spasms. This was my way of showing my love, showing him it will be okay , to not let fear run my life. If I had let fear run my life in this situation-how might I of acted? Maybe stressed, and running around frantically trying to get him into to hospital? Most likely….
We got into Urgent Care, saw the Doctor and she noticed one side of his chest/lung sounded different from the other -and said she usually doesn’t recommend chest X-Rays on little ones just for coughs, but felt something was wrong and he needed one.
So , hand in hand we walked downstairs to Radiology and again waited in the waiting room- I was worried , wondering what the X-Ray would show, but I prayed and I felt comfort come over me, and at peace.
He came out of the X-Ray room all smiles and said “Mom! That was COOL!” Boy that’s just what I needed to hear at that point,
So back upstairs we walked, and got to look at the X-Ray results with the Doctor, and when the X-Ray came up of his little ribcage, heart and lungs it just ..I don’t know, made me feel like crying! To see his little insides really hit me today.
His right lung showed fluid building up near the bottom and the left lung showed a bit of fluid starting to form around his heart area.
After looking at the results, they put him on a nebulizer to help him breathe for ten minutes, and he kept looking over at me with the little machine tube in his mouth-like he wanted to give up, but I kept patting him on his leg and reassuring him it was going to be okay.
He ended up getting diagnosed with Pnemonia and Bronchospasm, and has to be on medication and an inhaler for the week and then get rechecked in 1 week.
On the way home, we took a back way to our house because Rayce wanted to drive by (one of) my favorite barn(s) and the tree pictured above and below was on our route, which happens to be -my favorite tree.. [for some reason I am in love with old, scraggly, rustic, ..things!]
We were in the hospital for a total of two hours today, and the whole time …at any time I could have fallen apart..I could have let fear take control of me, but I believe that since I prayed for God to let me be fearless, if only for today, if only for my son, then he did just that.
Even though my son was diagnosed with two different sicknesses today, I feel content in my heart-I am not fearful, I feel free,… I was truly me today, I was the best mother I could have been for my son, and I was unafraid, and I think that my fearlessness helped my son through his day as well.
Life bring us all sorts of fears … whether it is a childs fear of the dark, or teenagers fear the first time behind the wheel, or an adults fear of the next job interview. Fear can own you – IF you let it, and ONLY if you let it.
Do you let fear own you? Do you feel that every decision, every action in your life is controlled by the fear of what-if’s or what next? And live each moment afraid that you made the wrong decision or afraid that something bad will come of your choices. Then my friend, fear owns you.
It is time to take control of your fear , grab it with both hands and THROW it out the window. Be gone fear!
More quotes for today;
“Fate loves the fearless.” ~James Russell Lowell
“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.” ~Mark Twain
“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” ~Mark Twain
Photo taken with IPhone 3GS & edited with the Instigram App.